Adventure Time: Enter the Land of Ahh
by Asiafish
Summary: One day Finn and Jake come across a very large and beautiful mirror inside a dark, mysterious cave within the Ice Kingdom, and when they accidentally stumble through it, an amazing and unusual adventure unfolds. Join them, and enter the Land of Ahh. [ON HIATUS]
1. The Mirror

**Hello, readers! Just wanna let you know that I have made some major changes to this story… It had to be done. So if you still care about this story and want to continue reading after all this time, I suggest doing another read through. I'd hate to continue this story with you guys all confused and whatnot. I won't take up any more of your time. I'm off to continue editing!**

…

Little black shoes beside orange paws dashed through thick snow in chase of an elderly man flying on pure beard power. He shoots ice from his hands toward his pursuers.

"Get away from me!" The wizard yelled. "Stop chasing me or I'll kill you!" He sends two more ice-zaps their way, and misses miserably.

"No way, Ice King! You're gonna' pay for what you did to Princess Bubble Gum!" the owner of the black shoes responded.

"Yeah!" agrees his companion, and, using his magical stretching powers, reaches out to the Ice Kings' cloak and whips him into the opposite direction. The wizard lands hard in the snow with a loud "Oof!" The two followers now stood over him in the form of a boy and a dog. The boy grabbed at the Ice Kings' collar and pulled him up so that their noses were only centimeters apart.

"W-wait! Don't do this! My criminal record has been so good! I haven't done anything!" the old man pleaded.

"I ain't fallin' for your stuff, guy! I know you stole a kiss from Bubble Gum. _This is personal._" The boy raised his fist and socked the Ice King in the beard and sent him flying a few feet away.

The kid pulled out his sword from his backpack and approached the Ice King again. Fury pervaded his entire being and his face flushed bright red. The dog ran in his masters' way and tried to persuade him, "Hold on Finn, don't do anything hasty. The Ice King didn't actually do anything wrong…"

"Jake! He KISSED princess Bubble Gum! KISSED HER! With his old man lips!"

"Yeah, I know, but…"

Finn turned his head back to look at the Ice King and saw him weakly jogging away.

"He's weakly jogging away!" Finn screamed.

"Well, good! Let's get outta' here, man."

"No way, Jake! The Princess _will_ be avenged! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The determined thirteen year old continued to chase the Ice King through the Ice Kingdom and Jake resentfully followed. They eventually followed him into a large cave in the side of a mountain. They went deeper and deeper and deeper still, and the farther the three of them wondered, the darker it became. Soon it seemed as if they were just running in eternal nothingness, running, running, running. Finally Finn and Jake slowed their run into a hesitant, exhausted walk.

"I don't think…I've ever been in this cave before…It just keeps going and going!" The young adventurer gasped between breathes, completely forgetting the reason he was there in the first place.

"Me either…but this place is really starting to freak me out. I don't think we should be here." Jake got up on two legs and clung to Finns' shorts with his front paws.

"Why are you being such a wuss today, man?" Finn asked, trying to pry him off.

"I'm not being a wuss! I'm just following my doggy-instincts. The Doggy-Instincts never lie, dude."

"Don't you wanna see what's at the end of this tunnel? Aren't you curious to see if it ends at all? What if we find something awesome, like…Like a giant purple turtle with the power to turn stuff into BACON?"

Jake chuckled, then added, "Or snow-cones."

"Or snow-cones _and _bacon!"

"Ha ha ha, yeah. Okay, Finn. I'll keep going if you promise we'll find something awesome like a Purple-snow-cone-bacon-turtle at the end of this tunnel."

"All right! Let's go!" Finn laughed in his cute youthful voice and broke into an eager run. However he immediately slams into a wall and falls backwards onto his bottom.

"Finn?" Jake ran to his side. "You okay?"

"Ugh…I think so… What hit me?"

They both looked up, and, as their eyes adjusted to the darkness, the duo beheld a gigantic oval-shaped mirror, roughly the height of one-story house. The frame was engraved all around with an elegant, floral design and a strange, foreign writing. At the top were two statues of a demon and an angel hanging onto either side of the frame and held hands.

"Shmow zow! How did I miss _that?_" Finn said, once he was finally able to pick his jaw back up from the ground.

"Cool…But, not as cool as a giant purple turtle would have been." Commented Jake.

Finn got back up on his feet and placed his hand on the frame of the reflection. "Who do you think decided to put a bagarmous* mirror in the middle of a giant pitch-black cave that never ends?"

Jake shrugged. "I don't know, but we've seen weirder things."

"Yeah but this is a different kind of weird." He began running his fingers across the glass. "Almost like…It was put here for a reason. Not just randoml-EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" As Finn began to lean heavily against the mirror, he fell through it.

"Fiiiiiiiinn!" Jake shouted and ran through after him.

**bagarmous = gigantic + enormous + the letter B


	2. Freeze

When Jake made it to the other side of the Mirror, he saw Finn facedown on a cave floor that bared a striking resemblance to the one they had just came from.

"What in the…?" The orange dog trailed off in confusion. "Weren't we _just _here?"

Finn scraped himself off the ground and stood beside Jake. The two of them stared blankly in utter puzzlement down the dark path they had just crossed a few minutes ago.

"It looks like we just turned around!" Finn exclaimed.

"Or like the same place…only flipped." On the last word, Jake tilted his head to one side and made a 'flipping' motion with his hands, where one finger revolves around the other. Finn tilted his head in the same direction, and they both continued to stare for a moment…

Finally Finn turned around and placed both hands on the mirror and began to push, trying to see if he could pass through it again. No use. Again he tried to push, this time using all his strength till his face turned bright red and his eyes looked as if they would completely pop out of their sockets. At last he gave up and sunk to the floor with a loud "Ugh!"

Jake crouched down next to where the amusingly tuckered out boy lay, and said, "Guess we can't go back that way, huh?"

Finn looked up at him with a glare that read "Gee, YA' THINK?"

The companion just laughed playfully and used his stretchy-powers to grow three times larger and pull his best friend onto his back.

"No matter what's over there, onward is our best bet out of this cave." Finn reminded his buddy, as he snuggled comfortably in his fur.

"My Doggy-Instincts agree. ONWARD!" Jake chanted in agreement. He trotted off into the darkness while Finn started to doze off on his back.

…

_Finn stood smiling, looking at all the things in his life that he knew, his tree house, the Candy Kingdom, Princess Bubble Gum, Lady Rainacorn, Jake, all his friends, even his foes, and the Land of Ooo, were all there before him. Suddenly they all began to disappear with the wind. Finn's face was now serious, because he knew that they were not the ones leaving him, but he was the one leaving them behind. Leaving them for something else. Something better? He couldn't tell. He could feel a sort of energy growing inside him. Taking over him. Slowly. Taking over all that he knew…_

The young boys' eyes abruptly snapped open and he sat up straight, wide-awake. His heart was furiously beating in his chest and he clutched his hand over it in some attempt to calm it down. He looked around to make some sense of where he was. He was still riding on Jake's back and the both of them where still walking through the dark, desolate cave.

"Hey, dude. You okay up there?" the over-grown dog asked, a hint of concern in his voice. He had noticed Finn's heavy breathing.

"Yeah. Yeah, man. I'm fine. How long have I been out?"

"Not sure. There's really no sense of time in this place, ya know?"

"How long do you think 'til we find the exit?"

"Well, according to that bright light straight ahead…"

Finn stood up and peeked over Jake's head in order to see. He was right. There was a very bright dot of light far in the distance. There was also the faint sent of fire and brimstone. Weird.

"Do you smell that?" Finn asked.

"Whatever it is, it wasn't me, I swear." Jake answered matter-of-factly.

"No, seriously!" He said this very gruffly, 'cause that joke is just getting WAY too over used these days. "It smells like something's burn-" He was interrupted by a very familiar yelp, which sounded like he just got himself punched in the gut.

"Ice King!" Jake exclaimed.

"Oh yeah…we were chasing that big old patoot just a few hours ago, weren't we?" Finn finally remembered what had happened earlier that day and was filled with rage again. "Let's go, Jake!"

Jake obediently began to sprint in the direction of the light, and the firey smell got stronger as they went. When at last the two of them made it to the end of the cave, their eyes widened in disbelief. The landscape looked just liked the Ice Kingdom did, only the snow covered mountains were erupting volcanoes, and frost nipping at their feet was now a dry, rocky terrain. Also, the sky was dark red with gray clouds instead of it's usual baby blue color and white, cotton candy-looking clouds. It looked just like the Ice Kingdom, besides all those things, and the fact that the features where 'flipped'. Like looking through a reflection.

"This day can NOT get any freakier." Finn declared after a few moments of speechlessness. Then, as if on cue, the Ice King flew out from behind a large boulder, about 10 yards away, and landed flat on his back, looking badly beaten. Another figure leaped out from behind the same rock, followed by a much smaller figure, which just walked calmly around it. The first figure placed their foot on the Ice King's head to hold him down. It bent over and reached its hand into the magic user's beard and pulled out his wallet and a few magic doo-dads. The figure then placed the loot into a black backpack and zipped it up. Both of the mysterious characters finally noticed that there was someone watching them and simultaneously flipped their heads towards Finn and Jake. They instantly vanished, looking almost as if they had disappeared into thin air.

"That was…uh…" Before Jake could finish his thought, the two figures reappeared again, this time they were only about a few feet away. The boys jumped.

The first, and tallest figure was the same height as Finn, wearing the same awesome hat, but was black instead of white, and a similar T-shirt to his own, except for its red color. In contrast to his cute blue shorts and little black shoes, the figure wore a dark red skirt and black combat boots. They also had an adventure pack like Finn's, only charcoal black. Some of the stranger's dark, straight hair hung out the face opening of their hat. Their body shape was clearly feminine.

The second, shorter figure had a likeness in height to Jake and stood on all fours, but its body was slimmer and was that of a cat. She too was a female, with blue fur and squinted eyes.

Both girls had pitiless expressions and an unforgiving look in their eyes. The cat leaped gracefully onto the girl's shoulder. Finn and Jake, not knowing how to react, just stood there, watching, totally confused as to what was going on. The She-Finn opened her mouth to speak.

"Sapphire, freeze 'em." She sounded the same age as Finn, only not nearly as benign and good-natured. The sound of her smooth, unmoving voice set shivers down both their spines.

The royal blue cat opened her dark eyes as wide as baseballs and glared at both boys. One look, and Finn and Jake were stiff and paralyzed, their expressions frozen in shock. Our heroes had become stone.


	3. Against Her Morals

When the Ice King came to, his head and arms were lightly bandaged, and he was lying in a medical bed inside a huge room with white walls and other empty medical beds lined against them. Eerie red light was shining through large windows which where high above him, just barely touching the ceiling. The sky seen through them was crimson with black clouds snowing ash.

'Where am I?' He thought and looked around some more, as to get a better sense of the place. His eyes scanned slowly, taking in his surroundings. Double-doors, a couple of heart monitors, a few sinks, stone Finn and Jake, big fan on the ceiling…err… Wait, WHAT?

The old wizard let out a yelp of shock, fell backwards out of his bed, and landed on his back, for about the third time today.

He peeked his eyes and long nose back over the side of the bed and studied the two statues cautiously. They were each laying sideways on their own beds, stiff and rock-gray. Their jaws and eyes were wide open as if someone had just jumped out and yelled 'Surprise!' and then had taken a picture of their reaction. They were covered in powder similar to the healing dust that he had at his own recovery ward back at the Ice Kingdom, only the stuff sprinkled over his enemies was twinkling red, not blue.

Suddenly, the Ice King heard the double-doors open from behind him and his heart leaped out of his chest. He turned around to see who it was that scared him, and this time his heart stopped all together. He had seen a pure image of beauty.

A tall, slender (yet pleasingly curvy) young woman stood before him. She wore a red magic-users cloak, akin to his own. Atop her head was a tiara. Her hair was fiery orange-red and fell all the way down to her lower back. It framed a truly angelic face of pink cheeks, full lips, and dark, round eyes.

"Sorry to have scared you," she chimed "Did you sleep well?"

Ice King could feel his face burn red and he sputtered for both words and breath at the same time. "I...um…err….well, yes...th-thank you."

"That's good news, um…" she started to giggle a bit. "Why are you on the floor?"

In his embarrassment, his face got even redder, and he started sweating buckets. He stumbled to his feet and fell back down on his butt, due to his weak, wobbly knees.

The vermillion angel chuckled delicately, trying her hardest not to be rude and burst out laughing at his awkward attempt to stand. She glided elegantly across the room and held out her hand out to the Ice King. He was hesitant to take it because for some reason, he felt it was not fitting for his wrinkled, rough hands to come in contact with her lovely skin.

"Well, go on. I won't bite." The beauty urged. Finally Ice King took her hand and was helped up. "You see?" She gave him a warm smile and the old man nearly fainted..._again_.

…

The two magic users sat next to one another at a long, dark amber dining table that stretched many yards across. Phoenix servants catered to them and gave them ice-cold lemonade. Although The Ice King usually preferred something warm to drink during the day, it was probably about eighty plus degrees in that dining room and lemonade just seemed like a better idea.

The young lady introduced herself as The Fire Queen, Ruler of all the Fire Kingdom. She explained how it was that she came across the Ice King, the cheeky boy and a small round dog.

"A couple of my fire birds and I were out on our afternoon stroll when we heard quite a loud ruckus coming from the Volcano Fields, you know, other than the erupting volcanoes, of course. I figured that we should go see what was going on, but because we were a long ways away from that area, I didn't arrive until later. When I finally found the three of you, I immediately called for my servants to carry you back to my castle, were I treated your wounds and used special healing remedies on the small boy and his dog. It won't be long before they reawaken…"

The entire time The Fire Queen was talking, The Ice King could only stare, dazed, lost in her eyes. He wasn't really paying attention so he didn't know what they were taking about exactly. He only watched as she moved her lips and bat her eyelashes.

She continued on. "…And so I try not to make healing random passers-by a habit of mine because they always end up falling in love with me. Every man in the kingdom practically asks to marry me on a daily basis, but no matter who it is I always reject them because marriage is against my morals."

Ice King immediately snapped out of his trance. "Say _what_?" he thought out loud.

"Oh, my! Look at me, going on like this. Tell me about yourself, Ice King."

"Wh-what did you say?"

"Umm, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?"

"No, no. _Before _that."

"Oh, you mean about marriage? Yes, I don't believe in it."

"Oh, I see." He tried to hide his disappointment, but failed horribly. His face became pale and his voice was hoarse.

"Are you all right?" The Fire Queen asked, her voice filled with concern. She reached out to place her hand on the Ice King's, but retreated when heavy doors slammed open on the other side of the room.

"ICE KING!" An annoyingly familiar voice screamed.

'Oh, great.' The wizard thought. 'It's _them_.'


	4. No Match for Her

Finn and Jake awoke looking around, quite confused. They were in some kind of hospital with countless medical beds lined up against the walls and large windows high along the ceiling. Finn noticed that the bed directly left of him had messy covers, as if someone had only recently emerged from it. He squinted his eyes and touched his lips like he was thinking.

"Hey man…" Jake called to Finn from the bed immediately to his right. "What the blub is this weird, red… uh… baby powder stuff?"

Finn looked at Jake, then down at himself. They were both covered in a weird dust that was red, and uh… weird.

"I don't know, brother. Kind of feels like sand." The boy answered.

"Yeah… What happened to us? Where are we?"

"Lemme' think. Hrmmm…" Finn rubbed his temples and made an odd thinking face as he reminisced.

"We were…chasing the Ice King," He finally said.

"Yup." Jake agreed.

"Ran into a cave,"

"Uh-huh."

"Something about a turtle,"

"Alright."

"Really freaky mirror "

"Okay."

"Walkin' through a tunnel."

"Mmm hmm."

"Smells like burning,"

"Yes."

"Really scary girl that looks like me only she's all a girl and such," (A/N: Lacheetara :3)

"Heh heh…all a girl _and such_."

"And then…blackout."

They sat in silence for a minute, thinking.

Finn finally recovered and hopped off the side of his bed and headed towards the double doors at the other side of the room.

"Where are you going?" Jake wondered, dusting the powder off his body.

"I just wanna explore a little bit. Maybe find out were the bleep we are. Wanna come with?" Finn called back. Without answering, the little pug slid out of his bed and followed his human out of the room.

They came into a hallway with a red-carpeted floor and flaming torches mounted upon gray brick walls. Arched windows clad with heavy umber curtains looked out onto a rocky, barren landscape of volcanoes and magma rivers. Large eagle-sized firebirds flew through the dark, smoky shy.

"Whoa. It looks like we've entered the devil's castle, or something." Jake muttered uneasily.

"Hey, look." Finn said, extending his index finger out the window. "You can see that scary dark cave from here."

Jake squinted his eyes and could see a tiny, black dot in the side of a huge volcano. "Oh yeah…" he said.

As they looked out at the fiery world before them, distant sounds of chatter floated in the hallway.

"Do you hear that? I think it's coming from over there." Jake got on all fours and trotted over in the direction he was referring to and Finn followed close behind. The little orange dog kept his ears keen to any noise, and the far-off conversation became more and more clear as they went. The two boys came to a set of big double doors and were finally able to separate the conversation into two voices, one of a young woman, and the other of…

Finn gasped and his eyes widened as he realized whom it was. He knew that goofy-old-man voice anywhere. He kicked the door open, producing a massive _'BOOM!'_

There, at the end of an extremely long, maroon dining table that took up the entire room, sat a woman, maybe in her mid-twenties, along side our hero's archenemy.

In rage, Finn shouted his name, "ICE KING!"

Ice King glared back at him and used his beard-wings to fly up out of his chair and onto the table.

"Foolish boy!" he yelled. "You'll pay for interrupting me in getting to know the Fire Queen better! Zap!" he added the sound effect to the ice shooting out of his fingertips. Finn leaped onto the opposite side of the table, dodging the ice-zappies.

"Ice King, we've been through some really weird crud all day just to find you, so don't start with me, man!" the young adventurer replied, getting into fighting position, sword in hand. The peeved old wizard continued to send out his freezy-magic, still adding sound effects to each one. "Zap, Zap! Zap! Zap, Zap!"

Jake also jumped up onto the table next to Finn and the two of them started running down toward Ice King, occasionally jumping and ducking out of the way of his frigid defenses. When the boy finally made it close enough, he swung his sword heavily and missed. The momentum of his swing made him loose his balance, and he slipped on the tablecloth. He fell backward, landing almost perfectly in the Fire Queen's lap.

Finn looked up, and saw a beautiful face so aesthetic and perfect, it was as if it had been carved by angels. She reminded him of Princess Bubble Gum, only Bubble Gum was much more magnificent. The thought of her made his face go red, and the Fire Queen giggled. Her laugh was cute, but again no match for the Princess.

"FINN THE HUMAAAAAN!" The Ice King screeched, interrupting his thoughts and emanating with fury. He raised both hands above his head, and an orb of light blue energy formed between them. He then held his hands in front of him, ready to send out the massive force. "NOW YOU DIE!"


	5. Meanwhile

_**Meanwhile…**_

An entire village of giant ogres came charging through a large clearing toward a small girl with an awesome hat, along side her vibrant blue feline with narrowed eyes. The girl drew out her weapons from her black backpack, then turned to her companion and nodded.

Once the monsters drew close enough, the girl sprung into action, leaping and killing one ogre, then jumping to the next. She landed on their huge shoulders, slit their throats or pierced their skulls with her twin daggers, then flipped to the next attacker. The beasts swung their heavy clubs at her, but she always dodged them in the last second, using some kind of epic flip, duck or leap; the kind that was slow-motion worthy. And thus, the ogres fell, one by one. Swift murders committed against the dark orange sky of nightfall.

The girl's cat, however, did not spring into action. She was simply reinforcement for her master to use in case of emergencies. So she sat in the sidelines watching, waiting casually for her owner to be done with this chore so that they could move on to the next one. But since her girl liked to take her time with this sort of thing, the cat took this moment to think.

Let's see, when they got home she'd have to start dinner, and somehow at the same time get the laundry going…not to mention she'd have to _once again _remind her master to clean her room…

By the time the dark clothed girl finished off the last of the ogres, her little cat had completed going through her own mental to-do list.

"You're done already? That was quicker than expected." The feline said in a monotone voice.

"Tsk. Oh please." The girl responded superiorly. She brushed off the small bit of dirt she had gotten on her clothes during the 'fight'. "Those numb-skull ogres stood no chance against anyone with a brain! The only good their kind serves on this planet is mêlée practice!"

"Uh huh. Whatever. So, are you ready to move on to our next evil deed?" The cat said again in the same uncaring tone, completely ignoring her owner's rant.

"HELL YA SISTAH, LET'S GO!" The young villain exclaimed in a maniacal, ridiculously silly excitement. "HUZZA FOR EVIL! Mmwah HA HA HA!"

The she-cat just rolled her eyes. She took a moment to see that the sun had completely set, then put her paw to her mouth and let out an earsplitting whistle.

The pitch-black darkness of the thick forest surrounding the field came forward and created a large dark blob before the two girls. The huge mass of shadow slowly morphed around itself like an amoeba until settling into a recognizable shape; a winged horse, or Pegasus, as it would be better identified. The creature's form was still somewhat unstable; small portions of shadow flickering off of it like a black flame, but it was still a whole bulk of matter. Finer details of eyes, nostrils, and a mouth began to appear on its face.

"Lookin' sexy, gent." The human girl joked at the silhouette.

"Gentleman ShadowHorse," The cat gave her own greeting, smiling at the Pegasus lovingly and at the same time elbowing her immature master in the shin.

"Ladies," ShadowHorse spoke in Korean and in a deep, cool voice. "Shall we be off?"

"We shall." The little feline responded and began to climb onto his back.

"Wud he say?" The girl asked confused.

"We're leaving." She answered in a less than compassionate tone.

"OOOooooh. Right." The human gave a tacky thumbs-up and mounted the horse herself.

With one elegant flap of the gentleman's wings, the three of them where enveloped in shadows, and disappeared.

All that was left in their wake was the vast field of ogre corpses. Death littered the ground in an orderly manner, for the killer was very precise about how she went about doing it. She made sure not to kill the ogres randomly, but was careful about where each body would fall when she killed them, as to not generate too much work for herself dragging them to the position in which she wanted them. Her tediousness paid off, for when the field was viewed from high above, the bodies spelled out her notorious name:

**Gill**


	6. Sense of Place

The Ice King's eyes became crazed with fury as he watched Finn blush nervously in the arms of his beautiful Fire Queen.

"FINN THE HUMAAAAN!" He couldn't control himself from screeching at the top of his lungs. He raised both hands above his head, creating a huge orb of blue light between them. He moved his palms so that they faced his enemy, ready to let out the deadly attack. "NOW YOU DIE!"

The wizard sent out the mass of energy, immediately noticing that an outside force was fighting back against him. He looked and saw the Fire Queen also standing on the dining table, cradling Finn in one arm and sending out her own fire magic with the other. Her expression was dead serious. She was a completely different person opposed to the gentle, exquisite woman he was talking to just a few minutes ago. Her extent of beauty remained unchanged, however.

The shocked, lovesick old man recoiled and fell to his knees. He was defeated for about the fifth time today.

"I don't know what the three of you may have against each other, but violence is not permitted in my castle." Scolded the Fire Queen, stepping down off the table.

"If you hate violence, why do you live in a kingdom of vicious erupting volcanoes?" Jake asked.

"I only hate violence when it takes place in my castle. I paid a lot for this place, ya' know? I'd hate for it to get destroyed in a horrible explosion. Plus, you must be careful, Mr. Ice King. Although you may feel fine now, using too much magic in your condition could drastically drain your energy. And because your life force is currently very unstable from your injuries, a large deprivation in energy could be potentially lethal."

The Ice King lifted his head and expressed a look of deep concern. Now that he thought about it, he was felling a bit light-headed…if he had added any more force to that last blast…

Finn and Jake exchanged grins.

"Hey, Ice King," The dog began.

"Can you show us that wicked magic-thingy you just did?" The boy continued. "Only with like, _ten times _more power!"

The elderly man and young lady glared at them.

"Not funny, you two." The enchantress retorted. "I'm being serious."

"So are we!" the two boys snickered back and pounded each others fist.

The Fire Queen sighed and shook her head, but she looked back at the adventurers when Finn suddenly said, "Hey, who are you, anyway, lady?"

She instinctively gave them a warm smile and introduced herself in an incredibly pleasant voice. "You may call me Fire Queen. I revived the two of you after you were turned to stone."

"Turned to stone? Is that what happened to us?" Jake asked.

"Yes. I found you at the mouth of the forbidden cave In the Volcano Fields. It's guarded very strictly by Gill the Human and Sapphire the Cat. Anyone who attempts to enter or exit out of it is most commonly mercilessly beaten and then left for dead. They don't use the Stone Glare method very often, so I wonder why she decided to use it on the two of you…"

"Umm…This Gill person…" Finn began. "Does she have a hat like mine, about the same height as me, have a dark red skirt, and scary boots?"

"And that Sapphire chick," Jake added. "She's blue and has squinty eyes, right?"

"Well, not many have seen them in person, or live to tell the tale if they do, so I couldn't say. You see, Gill and Sapphire are the most notorious criminals in this land. In addition to guarding the cave, they commit murder and theft. The only traces they leave of their existence are little notes at the crime scene, sometimes they are just things like, 'You'll never catch us! -Gill the Human and Sapphire the Cat'. They are truly evil characters, those two."

Everyone was very silent for a long moment. Finn was especially quiet, with an intense thinking face on.

"What is it, bro?" his dog inquired.

"I…don't know if it's possible but…it's like this place…Well, just think about it. We walk out of the _Ice _Kingdom, and end up in a _Fire _Kingdom. We meet a Fire Queen who has an exact opposite personality of the Ice King. There's an extremely famous girl and cat that look just like us, but they're evil and we're good! Jake! This world must be some kind of alternate universe, or something! Everything is a total opposite of the Land of Ooo! Fire Queen, what's the name of this world?"

The Fire Queen was totally taken aback by Finn's supposition but managed to say the name. "This is…The Land of Ahh."


	7. Spot On

"This is the land of Ahh." The Fire Queen said, recovering from the shock of Finn's sudden proposition.

"See Jake?" He said. "Ooo? Ahh? Even the names are corny opposites!"

"Yeah…this is huge." His dog stated, staring wide-eyed at nothing in particular.

"How is that even possible?" The Ice King asked impatiently. "How do we know this isn't just a dream, or something?"

"Dude, you've been beaten up mercilessly all day, and I'm guessing it hurt quite a lot. You're the last person who should be guessing that this is all just a dream." Finn said, brutally putting down his comment.

"Even if it's not a dream, it's not like weird stuff like this hasn't happened to us before." Jake shrugged, not actually confident in his own words.

"Yeah, weird stuff _has _happened to us, but not as weird as this!"

Just then, the large doors at the other end of the room opened and a phoenix wearing a black tux jacket with a bowtie and glasses flew in hastily over to the Fire Queen. He bowed his head and the queen said, "Proceed, Retnug."

The winged animal raised its head again and began to speak. "Your majesty, the Ogre Village is in need of your generous, loving attention."

"Did something occur?"

"Yes. It seems that they were attacked just a few hours ago at sundown. Their soldiers are all dead and the town is in ruin. The village elder has requested your presence."

"Yes, of course. Get the carriage ready for departure immediately, please."

"As you wish, your highness." The bird nodded his head once and left the room in haste.

"Ogres?" Finn exclaimed. "Ogres are evil! You should stay away from them, lady."

The beautiful dame bat her eyelashes and tilted her head to the side in a very cute fashion. (The Ice King blushed and fainted in reaction to this in the background, but everyone ignored him.) "Evil?" she questioned. "Ogres are one of the kindest creatures there are! Sure, they aren't the smartest or loveliest, but they are a very gentle race. They only fight when attacked or if they're hunting.."

"Opposite," Jake lightly elbowed Finn.

"Oh, yeeaaah."

"Come along, all of you. I'm not leaving you alone in my castle for one second." The Fire Queen started for the door. The three guys looked at each other and then followed after her.

They all walked through many corridors and down a few flights of stairs. Finn and Jake were behind the Ice King and the Fire Queen, who were chatting. Jake took the opportunity of their distraction to ask Finn something in private. He nudged him and whispered "Hey Finn, don't you think the Fire Queen is totally hawt?"

"WHAT?" The boy squeaked quietly in response.

"Do you?" Jake urged.

"Wha…Dude, she's like, twenty!"

"Yeah-ha-haa!"

"Ew, man! You shouldn't say that stuff! You have a girlfriend!"

"Well, ya, but it's not like I'm gonna' ask her out."

"You still shouldn't. It's disrespectful."

"Hm…I still think she's pretty…Heeeeeey, I have an idea!"

"No."

"You don't even know what I'm gonna' say!"

"The way this conversation is going, It's most likely gonna' be no."

"Just hear me out!"

Finn sighed, "…What is it?"

"You should ask the Fire Queen to date you! She'd like you. You're all goody-goody, like she is."

"WHAT THE BISCUIT, MAN? ASK HER OUT? SHE'S TWENTY! I'M _THIRTEEN_! THAT'S NOT RIGHT! THAT'S IMMORAL! IT'S BEYOND ALL CREEPINESS!"

"How do you know if it's unusual here? Everything is opposite, after all."

"Just no, dude."

"Boo, you're no fun."

"I'm just realistic. _And sane_."

"Hmph!…Wait a minute! I know why you won't date her!"

"Just shut up already. This stupid dialog is taking up half the freakin' chapter already."

"You won't go out with her because you only have eyes for Princess Bubble Gum, right?"

Finn blushed.

"I knew it! Ha! I'm a genius. Sorry about that, dude. I forgot about your crush."

"Stop it! I don't …have a crush. I mean…Me and the Princess are just friends! I can like…other girls if I want to!"

"Uh huh? Is that right?"

"Yup!"

"Fine, then! Ask out Queeny over there!"

"M…Maybe I will!"

Finn stomped up to the Fire Queen, face flushed tomato red. He shoved past the Ice King, interrupting whatever he was saying and throwing him to the ground. He reached out to the Fire Queen's shoulder, ready to tap it. Right before his hand could make contact, the young blueblood turned and said "We're here! Um…Ice King, you're on the floor again…"

The wizard angrily stood up. "Yeah, no thanks to this brat!" He glared at Finn and the boy backed away slowly. He walked backward until he was next to Jake, who was struggling to keep in his laugh. "Shut up." Said Finn, blushing even harder now.

The Fire Queen opened a door and they all stepped inside. The room was large and had gray stonewalls, like a cellar. Inside, there was a Victorian carriage being cleaned and managed by several phoenix servants. The interior of the vehicle was charcoal black and the exterior was deep crimson with wings engraved on the sides. Flames magically burned on the wheel axles without smoldering the rest of the carriage. The horses hooked up to the carriage were white except for their hair and tails, which were (oh, what do you know?) on fire.

"Radical." Finn said, recovered from his embarrassment. He ran up to the fancy cart and hopped inside. Jake came and sat next to him and whispered, "Yeah, it's pretty math, but I think she needs to ease up on the fire a little. She's like a pyromaniac or something!"

"I thought she was 'totally hawt.'" Finn stated coldly.

The Ice King slid into the carriage seat across from the two boys and the Fire Queen mounted the driver's seat. She grabbed the reins and whipped them with a loud _"HEE~YAH!"_

The phoenixes opened the cellar doors and the horses ran outside. They galloped gracefully farther and farther away from the castle, which looked _way _bigger from the outside. They rode through the Volcano Fields and into a small town of one-story stone-walled houses and crowded little market places. The people looked poverty-stricken and ill, but very few of them seemed sad. Families were playing, and hugging and helping each other out. The sight was very heart warming, but Finn couldn't help but feel uncomfortable at the same time. "Why are these people so happy when they're all sick?" he asked.

"The Land of Ahh is a very unforgiving place, young man." The Fire Queen said solemnly. "There are countless thieves and murders here. My kingdom in particular is subjected to such crime. There is also a disease spreading among my people. With all these hardships to live with, my subjects are taught at a very young age to have faith and to be grateful for what they have. I love my people from the very bottom of my heart and I help them as much as I am able. If scientific research were available, they wouldn't need to be so ill, but with the way things are in Ahh, it's increasingly difficult for anyone to move forward."

"Wow…" Finn said, dumbstruck. "That's pretty deep. That means this place is really bad, huh?"

"Indeed. There are just not enough noble, brave folks around here. If there's anything that Ahh needs, it's a hero."

Finn and Jake looked at each other, smiled, and then Jake announced, "Fire Queen, you are so spot-on I can't even tell you."


	8. One Less Party Member

The boy, dog, king, and queen continued on to the Ogre Village minutes later after making it past the Fire Kingdom. They were now cutting through a forest on a wide dirt road. All four of them kept a keen eye out for any possible threats, for although these woods were deemed safe, the Fire Queen warned that danger lurks at all corners of this world.

"So, you two boys are heroes?" The young majesty inquired. "How wonderful!"

"Heck yeah, we're heroes, lady! Oh, I mean, your queenly-ness." Finn exclaimed proudly, while the Ice King grumbled in anger, holding back the urge to turn the two imps into icicles and run off with Her Highness.

"If the two of you can somehow bring peace to all the madness…No, I'm sorry. That is asking too much." The Fire Queen's tone sloped down in disapproval of her own suggestion.

"It's no problem! We'll take care of everything. Just leave it to us." Jake reassured.

"I appreciate you wanting to help, Jake, the Dog of Ooo. However, I'm not sure a couple of kids could take on what my land has to offer."

"Hold on a sec, Fire Queen…" Finn began. "First of all, Jake's not a kid. He's about 28 in dog years. Two…look at this hat! Ain't nothin' gonna' beat dat kind of awesomeness. And four…wait…Three, you're talking to the guys who save The Land of Ooo on a daily basis from all kinds of evil, heartless criminals. I'm pretty sure we can definitely handle anything this place has to dish out."

Then, from far behind them, a faint buzzing sound that was harmonized with a twinkling noise emitted. A few woodland animals began running past them; first a couple of bunnies and squirrels, then some dear and birds, and finally bears and moose and other large mammals of all kinds darted this way and that, trying to get away from the once silent buzzing which got louder and louder with each second. All four characters turned to see what was coming to meet them, and witnessed a humongous wave of little specks of light and twinkling rising from back of them, getting ready to envelope the entire carriage within itself.

The Fire Queen shrieked, "IT'S A SWARM OF KILLER FOREST PIXIES!"

Terrified, she whipped the reins of the Fire Horses, demanding they run faster. The male passengers jolted backward, nearly falling out of their seats. Finn recovered and yelled back, "_KILLER FOREST PIXIES?_ ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

The bright, sparkling cloud continued to edge closer to them as they all screamed hysterically. A single pixie flew in close proximity to Finn's face allowing him to see its details more clearly. It was tiny enough to fit in the palm of his hand, had cute fluttery wings and wore a leaf as a dress; just like the pixies he had come to know in Ooo, but when it smiled wickedly at him, it exposed its razor sharp, rigged teeth along with a tongue that was way too long and simply grotesque. He quickly swatted it away and tried to make his way to the driver's seat without falling out of the moving stagecoach.

"Fire Queen!" He called to her when he got close enough. "How do we get them off our tail?"

"They'll only leave after they've taken a sacrifice!" She answered.

"Over my dead body!" The determined adolescent pulled out his sword from his adventure pack and ran toward the back of the cart again. He swung the blade this way and that, trying to do what he could to fend off the demon sprites. Jake and the Ice King joined in, using their powers the best they could as well, but nothing seemed to work. Jake attempted to grow his paw large enough to grab a few of them in his fist, but they bit him painfully whenever he got close. The Ice King's ice-zapping technique failed, for the enemies easily avoided every attack.

"Nothing's working!" Jake cried. "This sucks! How hard can it be to fight a stinkin' pixie?"

"Jacob! Please take the reins!" The Fire Queen ordered and Jake obeyed. The young beauty made her way to the back of the carriage and put out her arms, palms facing down, pointing to the apposing target. Little sparks began to fly from her fingertips, becoming larger and larger with every flicker until a flame broke out and her hands could be recognized as full fledged flamethrowers. As she set the majority of foul pixies ablaze, she ordered the Ice King to use his powers to freeze the trees and grass so that a forest fire could not take place. Finn continued swinging his sword at any of the miniature fiends that came near.

Although, even with such a successful system in action, there were still very many of the Killer Forest Pixies left, and they stayed resilient. Jake endeavored to get the horses to move faster and the wheels started to give out, screeching and wailing as they began to loosen, and finally, the front left wheel broke clean off. The carriage tumbled, taking the horses, king, queen, boy and dog along with it. The rolling of the cart slowed and it stopped diagonally, leaning against a thick-trunked tree. Every one of them lay quietly on the ground beneath it, shaken, stunned, but conscious.

The remaining devilish fairy creatures stopped above the coach and surrounded the Ice King where he lay. They lifted him off the ground and began flying in the opposite direction with their new captive. Adrenaline shot through his body like a rocket and he began to panic.

"WAAAAAAH! Let go of me!" the sorcerer demanded. "I'll zap you all up into bits! Ah! My magic isn't working! Why is that? Oh, no! I've dropped my crown that possesses all my magical wizardly powers! NOOOOOOO! I'm defenseless! Someone help meeee!" The last of his words were lost as he was carried higher and farther away.

Jake and Finn, who had gotten up from the forest floor, assisted the Fire Queen in standing up, and at the same time chuckled at the sight of the Ice King crying for his mommy while being taken away helplessly as a sacrifice by evil pixies. Their subtle giggles slowly yet surely evolved into hardy laughter. Their eyes teared and they were bent over, slapping their knees and cackling like hyenas.

The Fire Queen intervened. "Just what, might I ask, is so funny?" Her voice was demanding. "The Ice King, who we may never see again, just got kidnapped and the two of you think that is _funny?_"

The two guys took deep breaths, trying to regain themselves. Jake's answer came out as a bit of a snort, for his laughter was too powerful to contain. "Pfft… hehheh… hahmm… _ahem_… Yes… PFFFFFFFFT HAHAHA!"

"Hehehehe…What's the big deal, Fire Queen?" Finn asked. "What are a bunch of _pixies _going to do? I mean, yeah, they're pretty mutated and have a nasty bite, but…"

"The Ice King is now a sacrifice to Killer Forest Pixies…" The Queen began. "No one who has ever been taken by them has ever been seen again…alive."

Finn looked worriedly at Jake. Jake looked back at Finn. They both gulped.

She continued in a horrifyingly unsettled tone. "No one knows what really happens to you when you're taken away by that horrible sparkly cloud of evil. This is why I am scared for the Ice King. Following the pixies may be too dangerous…"

"H-Hey…Don't worry, miss…" Finn tried to sound reassuring. "Let's take one thing at a time here. We should get to the Ogre Village, right? That's where we were supposed to get to in the first place. I think the Ice King can wait for now, since we have no idea where he's going anyway."

"And plus, he's evil, so it doesn't matter if he ends up dead." Jake added in.

"Jake!" Finn exclaimed. The Fire Queen's face went pale.

"What? Just trying to cheer her up!"

"Let's just get out of here."

Jake brought the carriage back to the dirt path and patched the left wheel back up by using his hand as a hammer and a wrench. With the Fire Queen silently sitting in the back seat, a saddened and discouraging look on her face, and Finn and Jake sitting at the reins, the party continued on to their original destination; short one member.

None of them said anything from that point on. Like the queen, the duet of heroes where lost in their own thoughts. The boys really could have cared less if they never saw the Ice King again, but having their behinds handed to them by fairies in as little as eight minutes made them seriously ponder what kind of world this was and how bad things could get around here. More importantly, they wondered what kind of trouble they just got themselves into by promising the Fire Queen they'd help her bring justice to the Land of Ahh. Could they even survive this?

Their chances were starting to look very slim.


	9. The Ogre Village

**This story has experienced dramatic changes within previous chapters. Please re-read in order to avoid confusion. Thanks! **

**- This note as of 2012. Any readers that started the story this year don't have a problem as long as they know that Gill's cat's name is Sapphire, not Jade.**

After one long hour of unsettlingly awkward silence, the tense trio emerged from the woods riding the carriage. The path led them to an open meadow of trampled grass and blood stained flowers. Mutilated bodies littered the ground and some were being moved onto colossal wheelbarrows by despair-stricken ogres. Finn and Jake's jaws dropped.

In haste, her Highness stumbled out of her fire-steed drawn stagecoach and onto the field.

"Great Flaming Biscuits…" She whispered in astonishment, as she looked upon the hundreds, maybe thousands of slashed up ogre bodies scattered across the ground. "No…she's done it _again…"_ The Fire Queen breathed the words as she fell to her knees.

The boys ran to her. "Who? Who's done it again?" Finn asked.

"Those malevolent felons! Gill and Sapphire…those horrible murderers…" she answered quietly in revulsion and hatred. Her hands that were palm-down in the grass stared to spark a fire as her anger boiled. Finn and Jake gasped and began stomping on the flames to put them out. "Oh! Forgive me." The Queen excused herself and the fire in her hands went out.

"So, WAIT. Gill and Sapphire? Those little _girls _did this? Even Finn and I couldn't take down an army this huge! What, are these chicks, like, fifty-feet tall throat-slicing trolls in disguise or something?" Questioned Jake.

"Can't say… It's very possible considering just how little anyone knows about them." The Fire Queen answered. "However I'm absolutely sure it was them. Gill is the strongest, most skilled fighter in all of Ahh. There is no one else I can possibly think of that would be bold enough to even _dare _take on this many ogres at once…and _win. _And with Sapphire on her side, you've seen her talent firsthand, they are an unstoppable team."

They all went silent then, as a huge shadow moved slowly over the three of them. Their heads moved up in unison and standing over them was a teary-eyed, seven-foot tall ogress holding a damp hankie in her large, meaty hand. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with the tissue. "Miss Fire Queen…" the gentle beast said in a low voice that was far from feminine.

"Oh! Why, hello there, Tina. How long has it been?" The fair red-haired maiden said comfortingly as she got to her feet. She flashed a brilliant smile. The two guys stood at her left and right flanks defensively, ready to protect her if needed.

"It has been long time." Said Tina sullenly. "Tina happy to see Fire Queen after long time…" She trailed off, and her face expressed that a sad thought was filling her simple mind. She started to sob loudly and the boys covered their ears to block out the noise.

"Now, now, dear friend. Don't cry." The sorceress wrapped her arms around the ogress as best as she could, reaching only the sides of her hips. Tina then embraced the Fire Queen, lifting her up and squeezing her until her face was as red as her hair. The queen spoke the best she could without much air; "Tina, Sweety… *gasp* …Please…let me down…!"

"Oh." Tina said, releasing her killer bear hug. "Tina sorry."

Regaining herself, The Queen said. "That's quite alright. I understand your sorrows. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for the losses you've faced here. They were all admirable warriors and beloved members of this village…"

The gentle beast began to shed more fat tears and her face wrinkled in despair. "They killed-ed Morris… THEY KILLED-ED HIM! Morris say he come back to Tina. He say he be all okay. But he is dead now!" She wailed sorrowfully.

Finn and Jake were heart broken from the scene taking place. Their faces were sympathetic and saddened. Noble righteousness welled up within Finn, and he stepped up to the ogre woman and placed his hand on her giant arm.

"Hey, please don't be sad, miss." He consoled, "These soldiers, including your Morris, will not die in vein. I'm a hero, and I plan to rise up against this Gill and put a stop to her evil. I don't care what it takes. My friend Jake and I are going to bring justice to this land, and I will see to it that she knows the hurt that she's caused you and your people. Right, Jake?"

"That's right! We'll avenge your friends, Tina! Count on that." Jake chimed in.

"Oh, thank you, little ones! Tina believes you can! We go see elder now." Tina said ecstatically.

They followed her, riding on the stagecoach, across the clearing and into a small village on the other side. The shelters were colossal huts of wood and large leaves. Many of them were heavily damaged and torn apart, and families of ogres were gathered around helping each other to repair them. Woman and children were aplenty, but there were few men to be seen, living anyway.

The Fire Queen leaned over to Finn and Jake, sitting at the reins. She whispered, "It was very honorable of the two of you to have said what you did to Tina about avenging her husband, Morris. However I'm wondering if you really are sure about what you are putting yourself up against here. You seem like warriors of your word, and I am worried for you if it becomes too a great a task for you two to handle…"

Like before, the two heroes reassured the Queen that they knew what they were doing, and before she could protest any further, they reached an enormously wide tree stump at the far end of the village, where upon it sat a very old looking ogre with a long, thinning, white beard.

"Elder," the virtuous witch addressed the wrinkled creature as she stepped out from the carriage.

"Ah, Hello. Fire Queen is arrived." The Elder welcomed her cheerfully. His voice was weak and raspy; it was barely past a whisper. "Good that Fire Queen is in village. The peoples need the Fire Queen now. They need support. They are all very sad. Fire Queen help fix village."

"As I have in the past, your Oldness, I will do everything in my power to aid your community in these hard times." Motioning to Finn and Jake, she continued, "With me are two brave travelers. They are not familiar with our lands, so I am showing them around so that they may learn a bit more about us residence here in Ahh."

"Elder not care as long as they not get in way."

The tired beast grabbed a cane that was leaning against his stump and he gradually started to get to his feet. Knees and arms shaking violently, several ran to the sides of the tree stump, ready to assist him in his endeavor to stand.

"Stop fussing! Elder's got this!" he said annoyed. Slowly, but surely, he made it down onto the ground, squishing a little family of mushroom folk beneath his giant clumsy foot in the process. Once on the ground, he explained in his simple language how the invasion occurred, first with the destruction of the village, then the looting of their goods and supplies, and then the brutal slaughter of the village men. He and the Fire Queen then began to make their way to the citizens of the little town.

Before leaving, her majesty noted to Finn and Jake quietly, "I will be lingering in the village a little while. Do me a favor and _don't leave this place without my okay. _Are we clear?"

"Crystal, your highness!" the boys saluted.

"Good. Oh, and make sure not to upset any of the ogres. They aren't quick to violence but they're really sensitive."

"Is the Fire Queen coming?" the Elder asked impatiently.

"Oh, yes, my apologies!" She called back. Then to the boys again she said, "I will see the two of you later today." Then, she walked off.

…

"Dude, we've been sitting on this old ogre's stump for hours." Jake complained.

"The Fire Queen and the Elder told us not to get in the way and to stay put." Finn returned.

But I'm SO BOOOORRRRRRRED! And you left all your awesome stuff at the tree house!"

"I know. Sorry, broski. We left in such a hurry to get back at the Ice King that I didn't have time to pack food or video games…"

"UGH!" Jake fell backward and laid on his back in frustration. Finn looked upon the villagers and the servants the Fire Queen had called for to assist in restoring the damages. The bodies of soldiers were meanwhile being laid down in front of the tree stump. They were to hold a ceremony to respect the deceased soon.

Finn felt the craving for vengeance as he watched, and admittedly was getting antsy from sitting for so long too.

"Let's go find those murderers." He said in a dark tone.

Jake sat up. "What, do you mean like, right now?"

"As soon as possible. We can't let them get away with this… or do it again. Plus I'm loosing feeling in my butt."

"We don't have any leads, as much as I'd love to run after baddies right now…"

"But we do. This world is completely opposite to our own. We have all the knowledge we need. It'll just take a bit of thought to apply what details are most important in finding them."

"Aw man this is totally rhombus! We'll be like detectives, tracking down cold-hearted criminals!"

Finn stood up in the center of the stump, with Jake looking up at him with sparkles in his eyes.

"Hear me, Gill the Human! I'm coming for you! I'll put a stop to your evil once and for all! I'M A RADICAL BOY SEEKING JUSTIIIICE!"

"Keep it down over there!" called one of the villagers.

…

"Let's go down there and finish them off…" She whispered, both her and her partner's bodies concealed within the cover of a tall tree. Looking down at the village, they sat silently on a high tree branch, speaking to each other in low, hushed voices.

"No. " The other replied.

"What are we even waiting for? They serve us no use. Why do you keep telling me to hold off on killing them? They're trespassing in our world!"

"You idiot!" Hissed the feline. "It is for that very reason that we can't kill them! They're from the other side of the mirror. They are more valuable to us than you know."

"Psh. They're so **weak** though. I could cut through both of them like butter…"

"But you _won't._ Understand?"

"Yeah, whatever mom."

"We'll stay close to them. Watch them. Make sure they don't do anything stupid…"

"Great. Now we're stalkers _and _babysitters."

"Let's head back. I don't think they'll be leaving the village until tomorrow after they _mourn their loses_." The cat chuckled morbidly. Her human joined in and laughed a bit herself.

With a light gust of wind, the two disappeared into the darkness of the dense woods. An echo of their subtle laughter lingered in their wake, harmonized with the rustling of tree leaves moved by the gentle breeze.


End file.
